Grace: Stroke a man's dick, you get him for one night. Stroke a man's ego, you get him for life.
Melanie 'Mel' Whitfield: So, technically, you slept with Santa?
Kelli Whitfield: Well, I didn't know he was Santa at the time... but technically, I guess I did.
Melanie 'Mel' Whitfield: Well, ho, ho, ho.
Sir Amyas Paulet: The Queen orders these measures for your protection.
Mary Stuart: The Queen? I am a queen. They call her The Virgin Queen. Why is that, sir? Can it be that no man will have her?
Annie Newton: Nick, I wanted to do one good thing.
Nick Powell: You did, Annie. You did. You saved me. You saved me.
Michael Moore: There are nearly 50 million Americans with no health insurance. They pray every day they don't get sick because 18,000 of them will die this year, simply because they're uninsured. But this movie isn't about them. It's about the 250 million of you who have health insurance. Those of you who are living the American Dream.
Stuart: Isn't it bad luck to toast with water?
Todd: Yeah. Bad luck for whoever meets us today.
Cara Burns: You are a murderer of love.
Professor Farnsworth: Time travel is impossible!
Fry: But Professor, you time traveled yourself. Remember? When we went back to Roswell?
Professor Farnsworth: That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that! Plus, who are you anyway?
Max Keller: WAX lips? I love wax lips! I have to have wax lips.
Katie: Daddy.
Mike Enslin: No, you're not real.
Katie: I'm cold.
Mike Enslin: No, you're not Katie.
Katie: I love you Daddy. Don't you love me anymore?
Mike Enslin: Of course I do, sweetheart.
Gust Avrakotos: You know, me and three other guys are killing Russians. Is it possible that I met the only elected official in town who can help me?
Jesse Aarons: That's what Leslie Burke says. She told me to keep my mind wide open.
Ms. Edmonds: Leslie Burke is right. Mind like yours wide open, you could create a whole new world.
Rudi van der Merwe: First you listen to your heart, then you listen to your head, and then your wife will tell you what to do.
Noah Vosen: Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne.
John: How long you been fucking her?
[Jim looks awkward.]
John: It's a simple question.
[Jim looks down and sees John's wedding ring.]
Jim: How long you been fucking your wife?
John: I don't have one.
Jim: then why are you wearing a ring?
John: It makes people think I'm trustworthy.
Jim: Aren't you?
John: No.
Ted Crawford: Knowledge is pain.
Dakota Moss: So my finger got cut off. But nobody did it. Who's going to believe that? Look at you. You don't even believe it.
Jerrod Pointer: Yeah, I do.
[Dakota scoffs.]
Dakota Moss: That's because I fucked you.
Romulus Augustus: Mother, am I now the most powerful man in the world?
Flavia: Of course you are.
Romulus Augustus: Then why can't I stay out tonight?