Ngoc Lan Tran: What kind of fuck you give me? What kind? American people, eight kind of fuck. Love fuck, hate fuck, sex-only fuck, break-up fuck, make-up fuck, drunk fuck, buddy fuck, pity fuck.
Bailey: So, in all my lives as a dog, here's what I've learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don't get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.
Gen. Glen McMahon: God damn it, Pete. Why are you fat?
Michael Bryce: This guy single-handedly ruined the word motherfucker.
Henry: I saw her ankles.
Captain Jack Sparrow: You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God.
Carla: Since when did every woman in America need completely hairless vaginas on Christmas?
Natalie Certain: Storm's chances of winning are 95.2%.
Clerk: I am terribly allergic.
Miguel: But Dante doesn't have any hair.
Clerk: And I don't have a nose, and yet, here we are.
Knuckles McGinty: I don't do nothing for no one for nothing.
Mitch Buchannon: There's your cot, don't jack off on my sheets.
Moose Finbar: You do not want to know what's under those rhinos! I saw things I can never unsee, things that touched me.
Strickland: I can't wait to fuck you up.
Professor Poopypants: Hiyah class, I'm your cool new teacher, not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda.
Joe Bang: I am in-car-ce-ra-ted.
Susan Heffley: Greg Heflley! You're grounded for life.
Elton John: Now go save the world.
Harry Hart: If I save the world, will you get me two tickets to your next show?
Elton John: If you save the world, I'll get you a backstage pass, baby.
Maximo: Lesson No. 1: eye contact is power.
