David Bloomberg: I'm 23.
Rafi Gardet: No, you're not. I don't believe you. Let me see the license... Oh, my God! You're a child. Taxi! I have T-shirts older than you.
Daisy Duke: They planted a still on our farm.
Pauline: They planted a still? Why would they have to plant a still?
Daisy Duke: 'Cause they're too damn dumb to find our real still.
Violet Devereaux: Child, I believe you broke my legs.
Henry Letham: Do you know the Tristan Rêveur quote about bad art? It's "bad art is more tragically beautiful than good art 'cause it documents human failure."
Sarah: If you're gonna marry someone you might as well marry your best friend.
Gordon: We were talking about a cease fire, for Christmas Eve. What do you think? The outcome of this war won't be decided tonight. I don't think anyone would criticize us for lying down our riffles on Christmas Eve.
Slartibartfast: You must come with me, quickly or, or you'll be late!
Arthur: Late for what?
Slartibartfast: What? Oh, no...What is your name, earthman?
Arthur: Dent. Arthur Dent.
Slartibartfast: Late, as in the late Dentarthurdent. It's a kind of threat, you see.
Detective Fowler: If this woman's such a God-damned Saint, how did she end up raising four total fuck-ups?
Lt. Green: Miss Evelyn cycled hundreds of kids out of the foster program and into permanent homes. In 30 years she only came across four lost causes. Four delinquents so far gone she couldn't find anyone to take them in. So she did. Trust me, Fowler, these kids are congressmen compared to what they would've been.
Jim Braddock: I have to believe that when things are bad I can change them.
Nick Jones: Ugh, Dalton, did you crap your pants again?
Dalton Chapman: What? No! I don't know, maybe. I am wearing my work clothes.
Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon?
Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins.
Charles Schine: Please, just take the money.
Philippe LaRoche: Chuck, I already took your money. You see this? This was your money, and I took it. Now it's mine.
Winnie the Pooh: The heffalump ate my honey. Well actually, I did, but it made me do it.
Bree Osbourne: My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul.
Tom Baker: What do you do for a living Eliot?
Eliot: Well... I'm in 8th grade.
Valiant: It's not the size of your wingspan that counts, no, it's the size of your spirit.