Rusty Duritz: Holy smokes... 99 channels and there's nothing on.
Cecil: There are no rules in underground cinema, only edges.
Charlie: So, you're going to dinner with both of them? The girl you like and the girl you slept with?
Oscar: Yeah, my dad's coming too.
Jennifer: I wanna do laundry with you, Ryan.
Jim Grover: It's quints.
Rafi: Toninho, what on earth possessed you to do what you did? I mean, when a man truly loves his wife, he never lets her catch him.
Bennett: I once heard someone say: "When you dim your light, so that someone else can shine, the whole world gets darker."
Ray: It's Louie the 14th, or Louie the 15th. I don't know how high the Louie's go, actually.
Lily, Burnetts Grand Daughter: Magic Railroad?
Mr. C. Junior: Whatever.
Beret Girl: Max, Max, Max. Admit defeat, and defeat will surely admit you into permanent custody, my man.
Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.