David Howard: Shut up Brad! Your song stunk, I hate your suit and I could hurt you.
Clark Griswold: There's Buckingham Palace, kids. That's where the Queen lives and works.
Audrey Griswold: Works? What does she do, Dad?
Clark Griswold: She queens... and vacuums.
Julie: Hey Paul, do you like my hairdo?
Paul Hackett: Yes... yes, I do.
Julie: Then why don't you touch it?
Monty Brewster: Why is it when there's trouble we're the ones that get into it. I mean, there's a bar full of people and we're the only ones in jail.
Spike Nolan: I don't think it's racial you know, because I'm in here with you.
Monty Brewster: That's comforting.
Mombi III: Not beautiful you understand, but you have a certain prettiness, different from my other heads. I believe I'll lock you in the tower for a few years until your head is ready. And then I'll take it.
Dorothy: I believe you will NOT!
Bennett: What's the car for?
Paul Kersey: Bait.
Bobby: I got it covered.
Larry: You're doing fine, just bring it down a bit.
Richie Walters: A bit? Okay.
Gene Harbrough: You may not be the biggest stud, Jonathan. But, at least you have a family.
Jonathan Bellah: You can have my brother.
Sally Ann: Polly got in one good peck before that cat killed her. Good for Polly.
Hugh: I certainly never realised that Polly had such a big pecker.
Herb: There's a girl there who will do anything you want for fifty dollars an hour.
Ed: Like what?
Herb: Anything! If you want she'll dress like Santa Claus.
Ed: Will she bring me a pony?
'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: Don't you know who I am? I am Chocolate-Chip Charlie! My hands are registered with the Medford, Georgia, police as lethal weapons, and I eat them guns for breakfast.
Shirley: Oh, thank you, Baba Rama Nana!
Gil Shepherd: I worked so hard to make him real.
Gil's Agent: Maybe you overdid it.
Noa: Don't let me catch you giving none of them muffins to them little beggars outside, ya hear me?
Christopher Boyce: I know a thing or two about predatory behavior, and what once was a legitimate intelligence agency is now being used on weaker governments.
Count: One Green Froggy.
Kevin: Tough day on the right wing, Dear?
Tampopo: What about your wife?
Gorô: She left with the kids.
Tampopo: Why?
Gorô: I don't know. I grew up in a miserable family, so I wanted to make my own home the warmest there was. I got married. We had kids. And we had a warm home. But I never felt comfortable there. I don't know how to act in a happy home. Before I knew it, my wife was gone... Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted guy.