Eric 'Rick' Masters: First you rip me off, then you set up Carl, now you want to fuck my lady?
Max Waxman: Oh, man. She came on to me, man. I swear it.
Eric 'Rick' Masters: Oh, what a tragedy. I want my 600K.
Max Waxman: I didn't have anything to do with getting Cody set up.
Eric 'Rick' Masters: Do you know that your house is under surveillance? Do you know you're living like a fuckin' animal in the zoo?
President Grimshaw: I don't want to see you near my daughter again. That innocent little flower is my treasure.
Don King: Mr. Chairman, we are a company on the move. I have two mega stocks and a super promotional idea that can bring INC from $500 million, to $1 billion in gross revenue. That is not about white power, nor is it about black power. It's about green power! Money! M-O-N-E-Y! We're talking about geometric progression. One... four... eight... 16... the numbers boggle the mind! So in conclusion, all we have to do is to get off the dime, and put this show on the road. Thank you very much.
Cooper: Hulse, I want you to put a special mike on him tonight, one that isolates everything he plays from the rest of the orchestra. Carson, you link it into the gblx 1000 computer.
Maddy: The gblx?
Cooper: Yeah. That thing'll break any code.
Maddy: But that's in control of our entire missile defense system.
Cooper: Honey, will you please - what are the odds of the Russians attacking on a Thursday night?
Blossom: I'm Blossom. Why do they call you Meat?
Meat Tuperello: Why do they call you Blossom?
Inspector Japp: Poirot, please, before I grow old, retire, and move to Brighton, who is it?
Brytag: I will tell the future in your entrails, Red Woman.
Red Sonja: I know my future. You have none.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: You know, it's a shame about Ed.
Fletch: Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was dying for years.
Fletch: Sure, but... the end was very... very sudden.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was in intensive care for eight weeks.
Fletch: Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden.
Space Girl: I am the feminine in your mind, Carlsen.
Dr. Logan: Civil behavior is what distinguishes us from the lower forms. It's what enables us to communicate. To go about things in an orderly fashion, without attacking each other like beasts. Civility must be rewarded, captain. If it isn't rewarded, there's no use for it. There's just no use for it at all.
Art Selwyn: Men should be explorers, no matter how old they are. I don't know about anybody else, but I'm going.
Luis Molina: The nicest thing about feeling happy is that you think you'll never be unhappy again.
Sam Lowry: Are you all right?
Jill Layton: Yeah.
Sam Lowry: Well, you don't deserve to be.