Tony: Bed for the undead?
Chon Wang: He took the gold.
Roy O'Bannon: Is that all you care about, the gold? Shame on you.
Joe: Once, there was only silence, and not a speck of hope in sight. And every tiny bubble burst on its journey towards the light. But the spark of creation will flicker again, it's a brand new era... about to begin.
Darcy McGuire: I'm the man-eating bitch Darth Vader of the ad world.
Cruella de Vil: Just a teensy, weensy heckle? You know - murderer.
Pete: Jake, What happened?
Jake: My widgie. Owww, I bent my widgie.
Avery: What are we going to do now Pete? Our boy can't surf in this condition.
Janni Gogolack: You know I have this same car?
Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Really?
Janni Gogolack: No.
Dex: Y'know, no-one ever says, "Hey, God, how was your day? What can I do for you, God?" Or, "Hey, God, did you catch Letterman last night?"
Syd: Oh, and I suppose you talk to God like that?
Dex: Always. All the time.
Syd: And what does God say?
Dex: He says, "You know what? I saw Letterman and it sucked."
Renato Amoroso: Signora Malena, a more capable person than me... wrote that the only true love is unrequited love. Now I understand why. It's been so long since you last came out of your house. But the longer we are apart, the stronger my love becomes.
Mrs. Tingle: Who can tell me if Frankenstein was circumcised?
Ape Boy: I'm wearing an ape suit. That means I don't give a fuck.
Dr. Anton Rudolph: You have no idea what you're up against.
Bart Parker: You don't know my men.
Dr. Anton Rudolph: This is not some garden snake you're going after. We are talking about a perfect killing machine. A 129-foot all-terrain vehicle capable of speeds exceeding 50 miles an hour with skin that can deflect an antitank round, enhanced night vision and a voracious appetite for human flesh. It will slaughter your men before they have a chance to blink.
Kate: I like being depressed. It makes me feel deep and introspective.
Miranda Frayle: I'm absolutely determined that the Countess of Marshwood shall be the longest, and greatest, role I ever played.
Felicity Marshwood: I do hope you won't find it too much of a strain.
Nigel: Mother.
Felicity Marshwood: I do know what I'm talking about. I've played it for years. I find it a good part, but technically rather exhausting.
Mona Hibbard: I don't know if I want to be a pretend role model to thousands of little girls... or a real role model to one.
Steerpike: Why is it that some people starve and others have so much they waste it?
Turkish: We've lost gorgeous George
Brick top: Well where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys is he?
Ray: What are you, a stroke victim?