Quotes from Eddie Murphy movies and TV shows

Pluto Nash: You blew up my wood bar stools. You know how hard it is to get wood on the moon?

Rowland: There's a clone doctor named Runa Pedanken. Made a big name for herself creating an entire basketball team from one old guy.
Pluto Nash: The Air Jordans. Yeah.

Pluto Nash: You married twins?
Tony Francis: No, I met the perfect woman, so I had her cloned.
Dina Lake: Which one is which?
Tony Francis: Who cares?

Pluto Nash: So how's it going with you and Babbet?
Bruno: Me and Babbet? I don't think that's going to happen. I found out that I'm 110 volts and she's a 220.
Pluto Nash: Just go to the hardware store and get an adaptor.
Bruno: Nah. That just ruins it for me.

Reggie Hammond: Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.

Reggie Hammond: Look, Jack, I gave you the money in good faith, you told me I could fucking trust you and now after all this shit I can't get my money?
Jack: Well, you finally got the picture, convict.

Police Chief Hubbard: What's this man doing here?
Axel Foley: Bleeding, sir.

Axel Foley: Is this your car?
Jenny Summers: Oh, no. In Beverly Hills we just take whichever car is closest.

Serge: Go and tell Miss Jenny Summers that Mr. Achmed Foley is here to see her.
Axel Foley: No, Axel Foley. Axel.
Serge: Acmel? Acwel?
Axel Foley: Axel.
Serge: Foley's here to see her.

Axel Foley: I haven't seen Jenny in years. What's she up to?
Mikey Tandino: Oh, she's doin' great. She's a manager of this art gallery. The Hollis Benton Art Gallery, up in Beverly Hills. It's like a world famous place, you know. You ever hear of it?
Axel Foley: Yeah, I buy all my art there.

Bishop73

[Axel gets thrown out of the window and the police cruiser pulls up.]
Axel: You see that shit? I can describe all of them!

Serge: I see you look at this piece.
Axel: Yeah, I was wondering how much something like this went for.
Serge: $130,000.
Axel: Get the fuck out of here!
Serge: No, I cannot! It's serious because it's very important piece.
Axel: Have you ever sold one of these?
Serge: Sold it yesterday to a collector.
Axel: Get the fuck out of here!
Serge: No, I'm serious. I sell it myself.
Axel: [Chuckles]

Bishop73

Axel Foley: Coffee grounds.
Jenny Summers: So?
Axel Foley: You know what this stuff is used for?
Jenny Summers: Yeah, some people filter hot water through it and drink it.
Axel Foley: Yeah, I'm gonna take this home and filter hot water through it and drink it in the morning.

Axel Foley: Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?

Axel Foley: Gimme the key! I'm gonna follow 'em.
Jenny Summers: Have you ever driven a Mercedes before?
Axel Foley: No, but a car is a car. I drive my car every day.
Jenny Summers: I'm driving. I've seen your car.
Axel Foley: Oh, shit, that's cold.

Axel Foley: Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard, but he won't let you know 'cause he's the boss. Boss' dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.

Cigarette Buyer: You know, if you wanna be a fuckin asshole, you can take the whole load and smoke 'em yourself in the park.
Axel Foley: I don't smoke Lucky Strikes.
Cigarette Buyer: I got people I gotta answer to.
Axel Foley: I smoke King-Sized Kents.

Axel Foley: I never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while, 'cause I ordered some pizza.

[Axel throws Zack over buffet table, but Maitland motions for him to do nothing].
Axel Foley: That's very good, Victor. Can you teach him to roll over and sit and do all that shit too?

Axel: Is your supervisor here?
Security guard: Yeah, he's in the office.
Axel: Can you get him for me please?
Security guard: What's the problem?
Axel: Are you security here?
Security guard: Yeah.
Axel: [Pulls out his badge] Then you're the fucking problem!