Horace: Wolfman's got nards.
Phoebe: Come on. Don't be chicken shit.
Patrick: Aww, man, fat kid farted.
Detective Sapir: That's it, Del. This case is too hard, man, Let's be firemen instead.
Det. Del Crenshaw: I'm glad you're gettin' major laughs outta this, Rich. The problem is two-thousand year-old dead guys do not get up and walk away by themselves.
Horace: No, Sean! Scary house! Real monsters! Us, twelve years old, remember?
Sean: Midnight, end of the world, remember?
Sean: If we pull this off, I'm gonna shit.
Opening Text: One hundred years before this story begins... it was a time of darkness in Transylvania... A time when Dr. Abraham Van Helsing... and a small band of freedom fighters... conspired to rid the world of vampires and monsters... and to save mankind from the forces of eternal evil... They blew it.
Eugene: Creature stole my twinkie.
Frankenstein: Bogus! Bogus.
Eugene: Is she a versgin?
Scary German Guy: Yes, she can do it.
Patrick: She can't read, she's five years old.
Scary German Guy: I'll help her.
Dracula: [to a five year old] Give me the amulet, you bitch!
Answer: It's unknown how the dog got into the treehouse. After the boys put their hands on top of each others, the dog puts his paw on and Rudy questions how the dog got in with none of the boys being able to give an answer.