Al Schilling: Armand, my usual. An order and a half of whole wheat toast, soft scrambled eggs, a cup of Postum, and a telephone.
Frank Powers: Bright, remember you're not working on a vaudeville stage anymore. We lost some of your funny stuff when you went out of frame. And stop looking into the camera. It's not going to applaud.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: Comics don't talk. They act.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: As long as the world was calling on Billy Bright to make it laugh, Billy Bright would make it laugh.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: I'd like to talk to you more. You understand me. Can I buy you some dinner?
Mary Gibson: Oh, I'd love to, but, I'm meeting Frank.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: You're? You just proved my point for me. Even when it comes to getting girls, the short guys get the girls.
Mary Gibson: Frank isn't short.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: He's shorter than I am.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: A pie in the face is still a lot funnier than a dirty joke.
Woman in Detergent Commercial: So, if all the world's dirt seems to fall on you, get Whitee Wash! Clean, baby, clean.
Martin 'Cockeye' Van Buren: Frank, I'm not too happy. I think I ought to have a couple more close-ups, huh?
William Simon aka Billy Bright: I know how to make people laugh and they don't laugh when I talk.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: I could have been a millionaire.
Martin 'Cockeye' Van Buren: Then, why didn't you do it, then?
William Simon aka Billy Bright: Because I listened to dumbbells like you, that's why?
Martin 'Cockeye' Van Buren: If I'm such a dumbbell, why'd you listen?
William Simon aka Billy Bright: Because I was a bigger dumbbell.
Al Schilling: Billy, have I got good news for you.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: Look, Al, what I want.
Al Schilling: I know what you want and here it is. The good news. Billy, I spoke to Brockman this morning and the Studio is not going ahead with your next picture.
