Gus Gilbert: You bury your own.
Paul Maclean: Couldn't you find him?
Norman Maclean: The hell with him.
Paul Maclean: Well, I thought we were supposed to help him.
Norman Maclean: How the hell do you help that son of a bitch?
Paul Maclean: By taking him fishing.
Norman Maclean: He doesn't like fishing. He doesn't like Montana and he sure as hell doesn't like me.
Paul Maclean: Well, maybe what he likes is somebody trying to help him.
Captain Soames: What?
Sheriff Ira: Cold Draft.
Captain Soames: Could you use one right now?
McGivern: If I don't get total tit tonight, I will be using this razor to cut my throat. As I see it, sex is my only reason for living.
Charlie Dillon: Then be careful you don't cut your hand.
Paul Matthews: You look familiar.
Prince Geoffrey: Yeah, I'm the Prince of England.
Dr. Lawrence Angelo: Jobe, listen to yourself right now. The first sign of psychosis is a Christ complex.
Jobe Smith: CyberChrist.
Lane Bodine: I've never met anyone like you... you're honest, even when you lie.
Pathologist: Some nights there's so much farting and belching in here, it's like being in a ballpark.
Captain Frank Sedman: What about Huxley? What is that?
Peter Sanderson: He was referring to a quote by Thomas Huxley, "The chessboard is the world... the rules of the game are what we call nature. The player on the other side is hidden from us but we know that his play is always fair, just, and patient. We also know that he never overlooks a mistake.
Al Bert: Like my ex-wife. Anything I say, she does the opposite.
Jack Kelson: Keep my name outta your mouth.
Gabe: That's a picture of my mum. Isn't she beautiful? Everyone says I look like her. I'm not saying I'm good looking, I'm not saying that, but we do look alike. She's dead now. Was a car accident. She had her head chopped off. I think it's good to be able to talk about these things without cracking up, you know. Besides I know she's still with me somehow. I think that when I have kids, she will be one of them, sort of reincarnated.
Sylvie Cooper: The fact that Fred hated ever human except me really meant something.
Freddy Ross: You think if she could see she'd hang around with an old dog like you? Your stomach's going around to meet itself behind your back.
Sgt. John Berlin: Bullshit. I'm in my prime, baby.
Freddy Ross: Bits.
Sgt. John Berlin: What do you mean "bits"?
Freddy Ross: Policeman's bodies age at different rates. Look at me... I got a belly in its 50's, my balls are in their 60's and my feet are in their 80's.
Montoya Santana: Whatever I did to you or to mama... to make you hate me, I'm sorry.
Pedro Santana: Your mother was a beautiful woman. She made me feel proud. She was 19 years old. Raped... by sailors. After it happened, we never talked about it. Then we got married and we tried to forget. When you were born, I tried to love you. But every time I looked at you, I wondered who your real father was. I wondered which sailor's blood you carried inside of you.
Richard Yellow Hawk: Well, well, well, the Washington Redskin.
Aunt Pristine Figg: Well, your little friends certainly are house broken, they've been here only five minutes and already they've broken the house.
Zuzu Bailey: Look, Daddy! Every time you hear a bell, a zombie takes a soul to hell.