Best comedy movie quotes of 1988

Daryle: Think of all the clothes I could have bought in Europe.
Billy: Ahh forget it. None of us speak European anyway.

Roadrash: Must have been a rowdy crowd tonight.

Peter Loew: I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire.

Tara: They are gardeners and carpenters, they are not tomato men.

Marshall: [as Charlie] She gets back this weekend. If we don't resolve this, I'll have to go back and live with her again. This is the woman I couldn't live with as a husband. Now, I'm going to be her son. It's a Freudian nightmare.

Bishop73

Pop: That judge in the orange skirt... Make yer pee pee harder than a ten pound bag a' nickel jawbreakers, you know what I mean?

Sgt. Moses Hightower: Sir, I realize this is your jurisdiction. But if there is a rescue attempt, we would like to volunteer.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Commissioner Murdock, I couldn't agree more. I think it is vital that the rescues know Commandant Lassard intimately. Now, I can vouch for the abilities of these officers. After all, I trained them myself.
Sgt. Larvell Jones: Must be the drugs.

Wanda Saknussemm: Bitchin' left hook, Crassus.

Ty Webb: You know I'm always shooting myself with one of those poison-dipped, crossbow darts. I don't know why they don't put a warning on those things.

Wheel: The Constitution wasn't written on an etch-a-sketch, but every once in a while you gotta twist the knobs a little.

Fred: Okay, Ace? I get your arm working, you can do the rest yourself, right?
Johnny 5: Kay-O, Derf.
Fred: Fred.
Johnny 5: That's what I said. Derf.

Bishop73

Colonel: This is our coordinator, Maj. Murphy Black. Multi-decorated field officer, better known as "Killzone."
Mascher: Why do they have nicknames?
Colonel: You should know what the group is called. "BAM."
Mascher: BAM?
Colonel: Big Ass Motherfuckers.

Angela de Marco: God, you people work just like the mob! There's no difference.
Regional Director Franklin: Oh, there's a big difference, Mrs. De Marco. The mob is run by murdering, thieving, lying, cheating psychopaths. We work for the President of the United States of America.

Megan Morgan: We need you, Harv. We Need a sheriff.
Harv: Go check the yellow pages.

Albert Emperato: You don't want carpet! You want an area rug.

Farmer Gene Green: Where's my dog! Where's my Pooh Bear.

Stacy: This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I remember when it was actually fun to say, "WOW, that really felt great! What's your name again?"
Melissa: I've never had sex with someone I didn't know. For that matter, I've never said, "Wow, that felt really great."

Albert: Jackson, why did you have to bring me along in the first place?
Action Jackson: You remind me of a old friend.
Albert: Then why didn't you bring your old friend?
Action Jackson: He's dead.
Albert: Damn, man why did you have to tell me that?

Grandpa: Look! Purple may be a little strange.
Mrs. Orfus: Yes!
Grandpa: But that's because he is a brilliant musician!
Mrs. Orfus: No! No! Purple is an alien!

Mr. Babrucz: Young lady you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut and your legs crossed.