Baroness: Let me give you some advice. You can't care about anyone. Everyone else is an obstacle. You care about what an obstacle wants or feels, you're dead. If I cared about anyone or thing, I might have died like so many brilliant women with a drawer full of unseen genius and a heart full of sad bitterness. You have the talent for your own label. Whether you have the killer instinct is the big question.
Tong: I too wish to join this fellowship of Druun buttkickery.
Jimmy Crystal: Hey, One last thing. Don't you ever do nothing to make me look bad! You got that?
Buster Moon: Oh, I will never let that happen, sir!
Jimmy Crystal: You better not or I'll throw you off the roof!
Massimo Marcovaldo: You two are coming with me.
Alberto Scorfano: Which knife do I get? Huh? Huh?
Massimo Marcovaldo: You don't.
Max Mercer: Homebot, search good booby traps.
Homebot: I'm sorry, the parental controls of this system restrict the term "booby."
Max Mercer: Never mind.
Barnabas: It's not hard to lie to someone that wants to believe.
Kate Dibiasky: We have exactly six months, ten days, two hours, 11 minutes and 41 seconds, until a comet twice the size of Chicxulub tears through our atmosphere and extincts all life on Earth.
Dr. Randall Mindy: When did you do those calculations?
Kate Dibiasky: I put the moment of impact on a diet app. So, impact is when my diet ends. Only I'm not on a diet. I'm just crying five times a day.
Theodore Templeton: This is just like Bill Gates' rec room, only much smaller.
Mark Bowman: It's almost like stealing people's data and giving it to a hyper-intelligent AI as part of an unregulated tech monopoly was a bad thing.
Lucinda Krementz: The kids did this, obliterated a thousand years of Republican authority in less than a fortnight. What do they want? Freedom. Full stop.
Grandmother: Things would heat up. We would quarrel. But you know, dear, you gotta have the friction to have the heat!
Sonia Kincaid: I would make a great mother, don't you think?
Michael Bryce: Oh my God, a child would be so lucky to have you as its host.
Semmi: You walk like an American pimp.
Lavelle Junson: You're dressed like a slave from the future.
Al-G Rhythm: Welcome to the Space Jam.
Darius Kincaid: Are you using pepper spray?
Michael Bryce: I'm on sabbatical.
Jake Doyle (Adult): It was the most beautiful piece of machinery I'd ever laid eyes on. The thing made Luke Skywalker's robot hand look like a Tinker toy.
Emily Elizabeth: How big is he going to get?
Mr. Bridwell: That depends, doesn't it?
Emily Elizabeth: On what?
Mr. Bridwell: On how much you love him.
Julie: I don't have anyone I can talk to the way we used to talk.