Chris Mattson: Y'know what Abel? Fuck you.
Abel Turner: Is that a 'We Are the World' fuck you?
Chris Mattson: No. It's a special one. Just for you.
The Octopus: Come on! Toilets are always funny!
Delysia: Men are so untrusting. I can't think why.
Kristen: James, we need a gun. Does your dad have a gun?
James Hoyt: Kristen, I'm looking! There was one here when I was a kid. He always hid it.
Detective Eric Box: Hi, I'm Detective Box.
Arthur James Elmer: Unusual name.
Detective Eric Box: Well, it wasn't up to me.
Richie Nix: I read about this guy once who weighed 1200 pounds. Can you believe that? For breakfast he'd have like 2 pounds of bacon, a dozen eggs, some rolls. Then for lunch he'd have 4 hamburgers, 4 double cheeseburgers, 8 boxes of fries. For dinner: 3 ham steaks, 6 sweet potatoes, 6 or 7 regular potatoes, some stuffing.
Frank Tramell: You have a choice.
Jack Bauer: I don't have a choice, you son of a bitch.
Narrator: Another home, another main street. Stephen looked around, then summed the burgh up thusly...
Young Stephen: Bloom, we've hit a one hat town. One theater. One car wash. One café. One park. One cat. Which, through some mishap, had one leg.
June Boatwright: Aw damn it to hell.
Dylan Thomas: Not for the proud man apart from the raging moon I write on the spendthrift pages, nor for the towering dead with their nightingales and psalms, but for the lovers, their arms round the griefs of the ages.
R.I.P.L.E.Y.: A strange game. The only way to win is not to play,.
Leann Cole: That's not my ringtone.
Moose: Yeah, we're her crew! We're getting ready to battle at the streets.
Felicia: What street? Sesame Street?
Robert 'Fish' Fishman: You're looking to score, I can respect that.
Ben Thomas: It is within my power to drastically change his cirumstances, but I don't want to give that man a gift he doesn't deserve.
Will: I never told you the happy ending.
Maya: What is it?
Will: You.
Derek: I love America, but I fuckin' hate cops.
Juliette Fontaine: The worst prison is the death of one's child. You never get out of it.