Akash Malhotra: Dad, there is more to life than just signing checks.
Akash's father: Really... What is that?
Akash Malhotra: I don't know, but as soon as I do, you will be the first to know.
Lance Barton: I got roaches. Who here got roaches?
Man in Audience: Everybody got roaches, man. It's Harlem.
Best Man: May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough hope to keep you happy, enough friends to give you comfort, enough determination to make each day a better day then yesterday. Congratulations guys I love you both. WOO.
Amy Mandell: The primary difference between a man and a woman is that man gets his self-esteem when a woman says yes and a women gets hers when she says no.
Count Thibault: You are lionhearted, Julia, like the women of your lineage. You have courage.
Miles: Excuse me, I am tired of living a lie. I need it to be known that I like a big girl. In fact, a large, zaftig, voluptuous, full-figured, big-boned, massive-assive honey, that is what gets me going. I like fat women and they like me... big girls need love too, baby.
Steve Meyers: What do you think of a moral victory?
Anna Redmond: A moral victory sounds good.
Kate Westbourne: You know, sometimes you don't even act like you're my son, Wesley.
Wesley Westbourne: Sometimes you don't even act like you're my mother.
Kate Westbourne: Oh, come on, I've given you everything a child could want. Toys, love, publicity.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: I remember what the wonderful Bobby De Niro said to me. Well, not to me, I read it in an article.
Mikey Dundee: Do people like rats here?
Archie: Uh-oh! Uh-oh.
Dr. Dolittle: Uh-oh, what? What's the problem?
Archie: Ice cream is acting up.
Dr. Dolittle: What ice cream?
Archie: I got depressed after Sonny and Ava, and I went on a bender. And by the second gallon, I realised I'm in love with Ava and this ice cream called "Cherry Garcia."
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Freddie Tiffany: Man, you really are from the projects. You didn't hit a damn thing.
Narrator: With a prompter in every cellar window whispering comebacks, shy people would have the last laugh.
Mama: That man looks like that Santa from years ago... no, can't be...No more eggnog for me.
Stu Miley: The woman I love is living with a horny little monkey that looks like me.
Kitty: What a lucky girl.
Eric: Love may not make the world go round, but it makes the ride worth while.
Ricky Slade: We don't wanna talk, we wanna scream at people, but we don't wanna listen or problem solve and that's what's frustrating about the fucking dynamic of the group.
Miguel: The BLM man gave me permission to kill anything that represented a danger to my cattle. El lobo, el coyote, and el Graboid.