Claudia: Nobody means what they say on Thanksgiving, Mom. You know that. That's what the day's supposed to be all about, right? Torture.
Danny: MY cushion.
Brodie: You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda Gross' mother after she called him "low class."
T.S. Quint: That wasn't me. It was you.
Brodie: Oh, yeah.
T.S. Quint: And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother.
Brodie: No wonder the bitch went down so fast.
Greek Chorus Leader: Don't go any further. I know what you're thinking, Lenny, and forget it!
Lenny Weinrib: I can't forget it; the thought's been put in my head.
Chorus: Oh, cursed fate; certain thoughts are better left unthunk.
Joe Jr: Hey Pop. Can I give that bottle of Blue Nun you got from Cousin Ornello to my probation officer?
Bruno Parker: I never saw anything funny that didn't cause pain.
Darius: Just think of aids as the guest that won't leave, the one we all hate. But you have to remember: Hey! It's still our party.
Suzanne Stone Maretto: It's nice to live in a country where life, liberty... and all the rest of it still stand for something.
Donald Patterson: Did I say that? I didn't say that! All I said was... bad things tend to happen around you two. Some money got lost and I think you two can help me find it.
Charlie: How so?
Donald Patterson: You look for it.
Nick: Bob, what the fuck is with that smoke, man? Whaddya got in there, a couple of hamsters blowing smoke rings, ferchrissakes?
Reginald Anson: Pleasant enough sort of place, isn't it?
George Garrad: I suppose so, considering it's Wales.
Emma: I hate this uniform, it makes me look 14.
Meg: You are 14.
Emma: Exactly.
Art Dodge: For me there is only Rimbaud.
Liz Kerner: Rimbaud? Why?
Betty Kerner: Well, it's obvious. He's the original. I mean, Seagal and Van Damme are just cheap imitations.
Stuart Smalley: Because what they say is true - it's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
Newt Shaw: I'm your man.
Paul Benjamin: Slow down, huh?
Auggie Wren: That's what I recommend. You know how it is. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. Time creeps in its petty pace.
Dr. Frankenollie: Dr. Frankenollie at your service. You're here for the job, hmm?
Mickey Mouse: Yeah. I mean, no! No.
Dr. Frankenollie: Oh, don't be shy. It's not just a job. It's an adventure.
Mickey Mouse: I hate adventures.
Dr. Frankenollie: Perfect! You're hired.
Tom Sawyer: Muff's innocent Huck, we gotta help him.
Huck Finn: We ain't gotta do nothing.
Tom Sawyer: You'd let him hang for something he didn't do.
Huck Finn: It ain't no skin off my back.