Jerry Landers: How can you permit all the *suffering* that goes on in the world?
God: Ah, how can *I* permit the suffering?
Jerry Landers: Yeah!
God: I don't permit the suffering. You do! Free will. All the choices are yours.
Jerry Landers: Choices? What choices?
God: You can love each other, cherish and nurture each other or you can kill each other. Incidentally, "kill" is the word. It's not "waste." If I meant "waste" I would have written "thou shalt not waste." You're doing some very funny things with words, here. You're also turning the sky into mud. I look down, I can't believe the filth. Using the rivers for toilets, poisoning my fishes. You want a miracle? *You* make a fish from scratch. You can't. You think only God can make a tree? Try coming up with a mackerel. And when the last one is gone, that'll be that. Eighty-six on the fishes, goodbye sky, so long world, over and out.
Maurice: Hey, dude. Come here bud. You don't know it yet, but tonight is your lucky night.
Brian Stevenson: What do you mean?
Maurice: I mean.
Brian Stevenson: I know, you're going to grant me three wishes, right?
Maurice: Wishes? Wishes? Wishes are bush-league leprechaun, pal. I'm a monster, okay. Listen to this. I'm a monster and monsters don't do wishes.
Brian Stevenson: Then what do monsters do?
Maurice: Good question. I have the time of my life.
Logan: Go fuck yourself, pretty boy.
Jack Burton: Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. But I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.
Agathe: Once upon a time, in the hidden heart of France, a handsome young prince lived in a beautiful castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was selfish and unkind. He taxed the village to fill his castle with the most beautiful objects, and his parties with the most beautiful people. Then one night, an unexpected intruder arrived at the castle, seeking shelter from the bitter storm. As a gift, she offered the prince a single rose. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince turned the woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. When he dismissed her again, the old woman's outward appearance melted away to reveal a most beautiful enchantress. The prince begged her for forgiveness. But it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. As punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. As days bled into years, the prince and his servants were forgotten by the world, for the enchantress had erased all memory of them from the minds of the people they loved. But the rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose. If he could learn to love another and earn their love in return by the time the last petal fell, the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?
Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its people.
Ash: Well hellooo Mister Fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and shit... And Jack just left town.
Janosh: We have all heard the stories. Look into his eyes! They are true! This place is cursed! They are no more human than the devils that invade our lands.
Viktor: If devils you call us, rest assured, better the devil you know.
Diana Prince: You're a man...
Steve Trevor: Yeah... I mean... do I not look like one?
Elton John: Real love's hard to come by. So you find a way to cope without it.
Dolores Umbridge: What? Do something! Tell them I mean no harm!
Harry Potter: I'm sorry Professor. I must not tell lies.
Harley Quinn: Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape? Sorry. The voices. Ahaha, I'm kidding! Jeez! That's not what they really said.
Grandpa Fred: They put me on at 3am. People who are awake at 3am aren't afraid of the Wolfman. The only thing that frightens those people is sobering up and going to work.
